Apr 28, 2018

Fugitive Pieces

7.

A dog & a bear walked into a bar.
Whatelit be? The bear ordered a saw
& sawed the dogs head off. But how

could I feel sorry for the dog, who
sat there laughing like an idiot?
At first I couldn't believe what I saw,

the saw & the sawing done, &
the hirsute sawyer, but after 3 days
I believed it. I went to the doctor

to explain what I had seen, & he sd
you were drunk, but I explained that
I hadn't even started. He waved & sd

give me a call sometime, & put
into my hand 3 small lovely pills. So
I swallowed them, but did not call the Dr.—

choosing instead to return to the bar
where the bear had killed the dog.
What'll it be. A magic carpet, I sd.

So he bends over and what do you know,
stands back up with a rolled up carpet
& plops it onto the bar. I put a 20

on the polishd oak & sat conscientiously,
gazing both at the carpet & the bartender.
At last I workd up the courage to ask him:

If you painted a hole in a mountain w/ black
paint, would that constitute a tunnel?
He started laughing, laughing like an idiot.


19.

A dog & a bar walked into a bear,
and the bear sd, hey, what's the idea?
Just like that, like some guy getting

bullied by a couple of roughs in a bar
in Monterey, in a film made in the 40s.
So the dog laid into the bear, while

the bar just sat there, as bars will do,
& growled something fierce, growling
something, fiercely. But the bear held

his ground, & with his arms akimbo,
like somebody's domineering grandmother,
growled even louder, at which point

the dog pinned his ears to the side of
his head & apologized; but the bear
was having none of it, & suddenly threw

his arms wide, & brandished his claws,
when suddenly the bar stood up, by which
I mean became vertical, & loured over

the bear, who was daunted, having never
seen a bar do that kind of thing, & the bear
sd, hey, what's the idea, like a cowardly lion

in a film from the 30s, & stepped back,
dammit! right into a bear trap, at which
point the dog laughed & pointed, &

it was easy to see, by the look on his face,
that he was sure he had been avenged,
until the bar suddenly fell, & crushed him.

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