Extra-large,
for Tirds McGee
But
he was not ambitious, not this Robert,
&
when it dawnd that he was 35
it
simply dawnd. Still the woman slept,
&
he slid from the never entirely comfortable
starch-stiff
sheets, feet on the neat low carpet,
&
took a thought of circulation, twinkld
1st
& 2nd piggy, which one went
to
market, which had roast beef, which had none
was
in the gloss of never honord promises,
hopefully
few, & unassembled features
of
faces floating pell-mell that were once
crisp
portraits, words & strings of words that made
rememberd
poems some were nearly loaves
&
[something] space where two could walk abreast
Midway
had one or two of Milton's devils'
oratories
memorized, not to recite
at
school, but for his own good, for we read it
on
our own, & like sweet Junketts we were dunkd
in
what wld overcome us w such love
that
words cannot give proper testimony|
This
much is truth, & do not think to doubt it:
This
much is sacred: matter, motion, language:
Words.
For without words we are without
ourselves,
dumb, incapacitated,
ineffectual,
inert, alone (Haig)
in
bondage to the bone & sinew,
slaves
to our primitive & reptilian natures
that
scrap & tussle in the skull machine
w
those 2 'R's: Reason & Rationality,
this
our endowment, our eternal bondage,
stamp
of our race & heritage, our commonality,
things
we shunnd so long, nearly a half
century
blind to this constant undercurrent,
this
strong & binding life force Jung yclept
collective
unconcious, Rand condemnd,
wich
condemnation we believed was sound
whan
we believed too little, or too much.
&
so he rose, & while the woman slept
put
on his clothes & scribbld a parting note,
and
silent slippd into the murky dawn.
But
what of him? Only to say he haunts
and
stalks the fringes of a work in progress,
a
subtext, best forgotten; a confession
of
something better not confessd to. Once,
he
was the rounded, Mediterranean olive,
a
subtle twist of lime in a straight Martini,
an
even subtler curve in the arrow that missd,
that
whistled wasted into a thicket,
or
twangd innocuous in an apple's bark.
Meanwhile
the Lord, Who tarried 40
days
&
beat the devil silly whilst His belly
gnawd,
hath daily witnessd this corruption,
hath
temperately restraind His own right arm,
&
guided gently w His tender hand
that
all of us should keep the narrow path,
forgive
the evils done to us, forget
the
evils we wld do unto ourselves,
the
poisons in the blood that flood the mind
&
alter nature, skewer consciousness
w
welcome wands that thrill while they destroy,
that
bring sweet magic & the bitter dearth
of
aftermaths that ring the panic bells
of
slow-encroaching sick sobriety—
the
dreadful drizzle-dazzle of reality.
¶ It's
then we need, says Reynolds, the godly cudgel,
the
loving stick, as Mr. Christian wanted,
that
Billy Bligh had tried on that too coddled
tattooed
hide that overlong had lain
docile,
unmilitant, effeminate,
supperd
with lust & calm satiety,
shaded
w palms, hands softend by the breasts
of
wilderness, his mental state an Adam
among
a thousand Eves. I saw them scatter,
in
a dream, my wasted billions, a flash of fish,
an
instantaneous diaspora, gone
to
blackness, blind, oblivion.
4.26.14