FIRST
DECAD
~~
Hymn
1
If
I could give my love full rein,
That
Thou, my Lord, might see it plain,
Then
would my love were like a steed,
With
milk-white mane, and strength and speed;
And
would, my Lord, my love could fly
As
swift as sunbeams in the sky,
Then
it might leap, with flaming heart,
And
light in Heaven, where Thou art.
2.28.2012
~~
Hymn
2
Thou
hast my heart, my Lord,
Now
and forever;
Writ
on my heart, Thy Word
Will
leave me never;
But
guide, and mind the way
Thro'
dark of even,
To
Thy eternal day,
By
Light of Heaven.
Thou
hast my soul, my King,
From
its first dawn:
A
small and tender thing,
From
darkness drawn
So
gently, toward the Light
Thy
Father made;
Wrapt
in a blanket white,
In
comfort laid.
Thou
hast my thought, my Lord,
My
mind, in awe;
Transformed,
and in accord
With
Thy just Law;
To
be subservient
Eternally;
Glad
and obedient,
To
worship Thee.
Thou
hast my flesh, my God,
My
body Thine;
Beholden
to Thy rod,
Thy
rule divine;
Thou
hast my all, my Lord,
Free
from Thee never;
So
great Thy grace, Thy Word,
Thy
Love, forever.
3.2.2012
~
Hymn
3
How
would I balm Thy feet
And
salve Thy shoulders, Lord,
That
art the Living Word,
And
King in Heaven's seat;
How
would I free Thy hands
And
save Thee from all harm;
But
I have not Thine arm
Whose
might all men commands;
For
I am but the clay
That
God gave Life with Breath,
As
Thou took me from Death
And
gave Eternity;
By
taking on my Sin
As
tho' it all were Thine,
And
by such means Divine
Made
my new Life begin.
Then
shall I not forget
Thy
Blood on Calvary,
Nor
that I owe to Thee
An
everlasting debt.
But
O so dearly priced,
The
gift that Thou hast given,
My
Lord, Who art in Heaven,
My
God, my King, my Christ.
3/3/2012
~~
Hymn
4
Oh
let Thy kingdom come, sweet Lord,
The
world to know Thy Love's increase
A
thousand years of fruitful Peace,
The
promise of Thy holy Word.
Make
all men's hearts, sweet Lord, to turn
From
selfish pride and vanity
To
duty and humanity
And
thus make way for Thy return.
3.4.2012
~~
Hymn
5
I
live in fear of Thee, my Lord,
By
day I tremble in Thy Light,
In
reverence of Thy Holy Word
Upon
my bed I weep by night;
From dawn till dusk, although in Faith,
From dawn till dusk, although in Faith,
With
sealed eyes and with bowing head,
I
swear, my Lord, with every breath,
That
Thy stern judgment still I dread.
Washed
in Thy Blood, my Lord, I pray
That
Thy sweet Mercy I might gain
When
on that sudden, fateful Day
Thou,
as Thou promised, come again;
When
kings will cower from Thy Face,
When
leaders of all nations fall
As
one, beholden to Thy Grace,
O
King and Captor of us all.
Now
then, my heart, tho' fraught with fear,
A
song of sweet compliance raise
To
Him Who is forever near
To
Whom thou ow'st thy constant praise;
Whose
Love is such that now thou art
But
willing prisoner, blushing bride;
O
happy slave, O now, my heart,
Surrender;
and Thou, Lord, preside.
3.4.2012
~~
Hymn
6
I
love Thee, Lord; I know not if
Thou
lovest me;
My
Love for Thee is all my life,
By
night, by day.
I
cannot eat, sweet morsels cloyeth
My
arid mouth;
All
drink is bitter, water annoyeth;
My
tongue is drouth.
Then
if I sing the words are dust,
The
winds will scatter;
An
Thou shant hear, yet sing I must,
Albeit
the matter
Be
wasted on the air, the sense
By
none received;
But
lost is better than by men's
Ears
unbelieved.
And
so I love Thee, Lord, and still
Though
it be vain,
It
is of no event, I will
But
love again.
I
love Thee, Lord, though I be wife
in
Groom's despite;
My
Love for Thee is all my life,
By
day, by night.
3/6/2012
~~
Hymn
7 (On the Incomprehensible Feminine; a Marian Hymn)
Think
that Our God, the Father, and His Son,
Seek
comfort and a time of rest;
And
think that ere Creation had begun
That
there was Mother Mary's breast.
O
sweet Celestial Mother, if it be
At
all permissible to dwell
On
what to Man is solemn Mystery,
Then
wilt Thou let my fancy tell
What
wonders it should find,
E'n
but contained to Mind,
Were
it but granted such unbounded Liberty?
At
once my eyes are blind; and in my Soul
I
travel in the darkness, far;
Methinks
that I am captain, and control
My
faring, by my Faith's bright star;
But
all is gloomy overhead, the sky lit
By
constellations faintly glowing
Thro'
canopies of cloud. O Lord, my Pilot,
Thou
hast the wheel of my Unknowing,
And
bringest me, with speed,
To
wheresoe'er I need,
Be
it my bed, or sunny isle; or day or night; or twilit.
3.6.2012
~~
Hymn
8
Lord,
should some morsel now alight
Upon
my tongue, to give me pleasure,
Some
whipt confection sweet and light,
In
perfect measure;
I
would but spit that trifle out,
As
it were surely something bitter;
For
I had tasted of Love's drought
And
found it sweeter.
Though
I were in a desert parched
With
but an empty cup in hand
And
found, however I had searched
No
drink but sand;
Still
would I deem myself as blest
To
be so happily accurst,
That
Love of Thee, that burnt my breast,
Had
quenched my thirst.
3.7.2012
~~
Hymn
9 (On Herbert's sonnet, The Holy Scriptures 2)
I
find that in Thy Word I am betrayed:
Though
this page miss or that,
The
third will find me, as Thy poet said
In
that last read magnificat.
Thumb
as I will, at random here and there,
Like
some low criminal in the dark,
Yet
Thou wilt find me, when most unaware,
With
an alarum I must mark.
3.7.2012
~~
Hymn
10
God
separated dark from light,
And
by that first decision
He
made a world of wrong and right,
And
every known division:
The
male and female; yea and no;
On,
off; and plus and minus;
And
by these balances to show
His order and align us.
The
night shall always follow day,
And
dawn shall follow even;
Which
show'th there is a single way
And
manner unto Heaven;
By
day the circuit of the sun
Is
such, not what she chooseth;
As
every star shall likewise run
And
none her way she loseth.
Tho'
man from ancient time hath made
His
learned remonstration,
It
is but silence, and a shade
Of
God's sublime Creation;
Thy
words are shadows, darkling speak
Philosophy
and science;
Man,
God is strong, and thou art weak;
On
Him have thy reliance.
3.9.2012
~~
SECOND
DECAD
~~
Hymn
11 (a sonnet of praise)
I
look upon the ebon fields of night,
Bright-lit
with stars, with massive constellations;
With
galaxies that dance in Thy first Light
In
blackest space, all mindful of their stations;
I
cannot see the nearest, meanest stone
That
sails in silence round its ancient track;
But
only Thy Light, and that Light alone
That
guideth through Time's ocean, cold and black.
Which
Light, O Lord, fortified with Thy Word,
That
came to earth as man, Thine only Son,
Who,
gentle as a Lamb, wast sacrificed
That
man should gain Thy mercy and be heard
On
that last day when Thy Will shall be done;
Thy
Will, my Lord; my King, my God, my Christ.
3.10.2012
~~
Hymn
12
When
Thou hast come again, my Lord,
The
seas will swell and roll
And
every man his soul
Shall
tremble, and consult Thy Word.
When
Thou hast come again, My God,
The
earth will shift, and shake,
And
continents will break,
Beaten
to rubble with Thy rod.
When
Thou hast come again, My King,
The
skies will run with red
For
Blood that Thou hast shed,
That
man be spared Death's bitter sting.
When
Thou hast come again, my Christ,
Spring
shall be born again,
Likewise
the soul of man,
For
whom, Lord, Thou hast sacrificed.
3.10.2012
~~
Hymn
13
Now
let my soul with readiness be dressed,
Much
like a maiden, robed in purest white;
I
wait with patience, in this still midnight,
For
One Whose Holy Will shalt manifest;
For
Him Who cleansed my soul; at Whose behest
The
corridors of space were frilled with Light;
For
Whom the winds blow; and to Whose great might
All
men will kneel: north, south; and east, and west.
There
will be none in hiding from His eyes,
None
in the wildered jungle, or lone isle;
None
on the snowy peaks, or deserts wide;
None
in the deep, black bellies of the seas.
He
shall see all, and find, and bring to trial.
Yet
trust Him still; for thine own sake He died.
3.10.2012
~~
Hymn
14
Now,
like a slave in bands of iron bound
At
neck and feet,
I
have, My Lord, despite my struggle, found
This
bondage sweet.
I
cannot fly, to ring that steeple's bell,
Nor
spin that vane,
Nor
like the wind go make the ocean swell,
Or
summon rain;
Yet
can I turn, and find Thee there, my King.
With
opened eyes
I
see Thy work: Now comes the infant Spring,
With
azure skies
And
birds whose wings make chevrons in the blue,
And
fruitful hours
Of
longer days with gentler air to strew
The
scents of flowers.
Thou
art a goodly Bondsman, Christ, my Lord.
I
know not why
I
ought look elsewhere for my keep and ward.
This
Liberty
I
hear men speak of is a thing of favor,
Yet
in excess,
Like salt, is cloying and bereft of savor,
Like salt, is cloying and bereft of savor,
And
gives distress.
O
stay, My King, and never yield Thy rule,
Be
Master when
The
constellations dim, and suns go cool,
Then
burn again;
From
Thy sweet yoke, my Captor, I desire
No
false relief,
But
constant watch; what term I have, be dire;
What
freedom, brief.
3.11.2012
~~
Hymn
15
I lay but could not sleep, but toss
and turn; and when
I thought I slept, it seemed I was
awake again.
For dreams of You would come and go.
I saw Your face, My Lord, but no—
it was a ghost, a glimpse, and so
I lost it then.
I heard such crying in the dark,
as still I lay:
a cricket's chirp, a canid's bark,
each had its say;
but none of them disturbed my rest
more than this threshing in my breast,
each time that glance that I love best
was turned away.
O stay, my Lord, and let me glean
one gold-shot ray
from Your own eye, that long has seen
the stars at play.
For but one beam—a second's shine,
a scattered dream! — if it were mine,
I'd think each sleepless night divine,
All darkness, day.
- revised May, 2015
and turn; and when
I thought I slept, it seemed I was
awake again.
For dreams of You would come and go.
I saw Your face, My Lord, but no—
it was a ghost, a glimpse, and so
I lost it then.
I heard such crying in the dark,
as still I lay:
a cricket's chirp, a canid's bark,
each had its say;
but none of them disturbed my rest
more than this threshing in my breast,
each time that glance that I love best
was turned away.
O stay, my Lord, and let me glean
one gold-shot ray
from Your own eye, that long has seen
the stars at play.
For but one beam—a second's shine,
a scattered dream! — if it were mine,
I'd think each sleepless night divine,
All darkness, day.
- revised May, 2015
3.11.2012
~~
Hymn
16
If
not for Him, there are
No
joys,
Just diffident despair
That cloys
To
waylay happiness
And
love,
And
from life's easiness
Remove
The
soul, to set apart,
Unbind
The
marriage of the heart
And
mind.
Therfore
I go in peace
Toward
Him.
Christ's my Shepherd. He's
My
Lord.
3.12.2012
~~
Hymn
17
The
day is dressed in sunset gold,
And
all the wind seems now at bay;
The
lambs are gathered in the fold;
The
wolves are driven far away.
All
is at peace, and tranquilly
The
Shepherd sits and takes His rest;
I
know He watches over me
While
light fades slowly in the west.
3.12.2012
~~
Hymn
18 (On verse making and Liberty)
I
like the narrow space
my
little feet can tread;
I
send them out apace
And
count them in my head;
There's
two, and three, and four,
They
patter in their rows;
I
might send out a score,
Or
legions, if I chose.
When
I my Fancy study,
I
find much Liberty;
It
moves more than my body,
And
even dares to fly.
It
swims the widest ocean,
And
in the heavens soars,
Unhindered
in its motion,
And
varied in its course.
Is
it a just complaint
When
someone is divested
Of
freedom by constraint,
Or
by brute force arrested?
Look
to the matter rightly,
Let
men trust each their word;
Take
not one issue lightly
And
let the least be heard.
Then
thou wilt see there's justice
When
reason is well-grounded
In
One in Whom all trust is,
Who
cannot be confounded;
Let
son look up to father,
And
all men in accord
Exalt
the Single Author
Who
lived in Christ, our Lord.
3.13.2012
~~
Hymn
19
It
matters not how small the gift,
So
long as Charity is given;
For
were that lacking, then there's thrift
In
alms, and it comes not from Heaven;
Seek
not thy purse, for in thy heart
The
Lord hath sown a rich affection,
The
fruit thereof the tender part
Of
either side of the collection.
3.14.2012
~~
Hymn
20
That
I am clay and figured by
Thy
Hand, my Lord,
Is
all I have of certainty:
Thy
Living Word
Inscribed
with perfect clarity
And
loving art;
Thy
Signature is plain to me,
Upon
my heart.
That
I do know of nothing more,
My
Lord, is given,
Save
that my Master I adore,
And
long for Heaven:
To
be perpetually reminded
Of
Thy Glory.
To
see my Savior and be blinded
Be
my story.
3.15.2012
~~
THIRD
DECAD
~~
Hymn
21 (To a Celebrity)
Mayflower,
Flower
Of
May, set sail
Again,
that power
Of
God prevail.
William
& Mary
Will
come again,
&
marry; make merry
The
hearts of men.
Mayflower,
father
And
mother, come;
And
bring fair weather
And
wisdom home.
*
*
The
laugher & singer
I
see, ahoy!
Thou
good ship, bringer
Of
Life & Joy.
3.16.2012
~~
Hymn
22 (On the Pauline Gospel)
So
glad I listen, Lord,
and
hear Thy perfect Word,
Clear
as the trills of flutes
Unlike
the grunts of brutes,
But
as a polished horn
As
mellow as the morn;
Mindful
of reprimands:
To
mark the work of hands,
And
know their proper place
In
terms of use and praise.
Mine
ears are opened wide
And
gratefully abide
The
whisperings of wit,
And
bursts of Holy Writ
That
sound out clarion calls
In
the spirit's baffled halls,
And
sonorously awaken
All
souls, from slumber shaken.
3.18.2012
~~
Hymn
23
In
subtle form the hemispheres
Of
east and west, and north and south, conjoin
To
mark that which to us appears
The
perfect round in our conception:
That
which subsumes and constitutes
All
beings, and the space wherein they live;
The
common ground of men and brutes,
And
living things that in that context thrive.
Which
gives us cause to cast an eye
On
things of form and shapeliness possessed:
The
human figure's symmetry,
A
woman's face and eyes, her smile, her breast;
A
ripened fruit: a purple plum,
Or
sweet, cleft peach frilled with a drop of rain
That
glisters coolly; or the bloom
Of
plump white grapes that mellow into wine.
Though
it were better we should look
At
evening's splendor where, if skies are clear,
The
Lord hath opened up His book
For
all: the vast, celestial chandelier
Of
moon and sun and galaxies;
His
order and His majesty divine.
The
place where lieth Eternal peace
And
where His mercy and His glory shine.
3.19.2012
~~
Hymn
24
Tho'
devils tread
Around
my bed
I
will not fear
That
they be near;
Tho'
demons taunt
They
shall avaunt
From
nigh my soul
And
naught control,
For
I have Christ,
Who
sacrificed
His
Blood for me
And
set me free
Of
carnal chains
And
worldly gains,
That
I might rest
In
His sweet breast. Amen.
3.20.2012
~~
Hymn
25
The
ghostly visions of the dark
Will
not deride me,
Nor
ghastly creatures that I mark
As
if beside me;
For
I have heard
The
Gospel's Word,
And
therein I confide me.
No
thing from Hell shall turn my heart
With
sumptuous vision,
Though
it be fair and make me start
By
sly derision;
For
I the Lord
Cry
on, my ward,
Whose
Blood hath saved me from perdition.
When
evil whispereth in the night,
My
soul alarming,
Telling
of bodily delight
In
manner charming,
I
shall not move
Suchwise
to prove
The
flesh's habit of disarming,
But
steadfast hope on Thee, my Lord,
With
full attention;
My
heart and mind in full accord
To
Thy intention.
Let
spirits unnamed
Be
gone, ashamed,
And
scarcely worth a moment's mention.
3.20.2012
~~
Hymn
26 (The greatest fear)
I
find I cannot look but see Thee, Lord.
No
matter where I choose to turn
The
vivid pattern of thy Living Word
In
sign and signature is borne:
Sublime
geometry, arithmetic
Of
number and relation; there
And
here, it's written, large or small, or thick
Or
thin; it's graven everywhere.
But
not in any place more clearly seen
Than
in my heart; Thy Word
Hath
no more clarity, nor brighter sheen
Than
when it's in my conscience heard.
There
Thou hast stamped Thy just, eternal Law,
That
I may not misunderstand
Nor
have removed, tho' buffed by timorous awe
And
fear of Thy Almighty Hand.
3.21.2012
~~
Hymn
27
Only
a moment past we spoke.
You
whispered in my ear;
My
eyes upon an open book:
I
saw You there.
Moment
to moment I am bound,
By
iron bands, from here
To
there, I tremble in Your hand,
Your
prisoner.
Will
You release me? Pray You, never,
I'd
rather die, my Lord,
A
thousand times times ten forever,
By
cross or sword.
I
cried for missing You today.
You
saw my tears and heard
My
melancholy melt away,
My
Christ, my Lord.
3.22.2012
~~
Hymn
28
I
will not let You go;
Not
though I die a thousand times
A
million, You will know
I
will not let You go.
I
will forget You never;
Beyond
the ending of the ten
Thousand
and tenth forever,
I
will forget You never.
Forever,
I surrender
My
life, my waking will, My King;
My
all to You I tender;
Forever
I surrender.
3.23.2012
~~
Hymn
29
I
will prepare my heart with all that's good,
And
sweep it though it were a room,
And
make it fitting for the Grace of God,
Wherein
the bride awaits her Groom.
I
look in corners for what mites of dust
Are
gathered there, and pluck them up;
Observe
the balance of the love and trust
That
God has poured in my heart's cup.
Straighten,
my gracious Lord, the crooked cracks
Graven
therein by lust and pride,
And
make that perfect where my work most lacks,
That
You may come in and preside.
3.23.2012
~~
Hymn
30
In
my dreams I go looking for You,
Upstairs
and down, through vacant rooms
Where
there is only loss and absence,
A
curtain billows, like the back of your raiment
Riffling
with the effluence of Limbo
As
You descended, Your halo like a helmet,
Into
the darkness. I would creep after You,
But
I cannot, nor can You turn to show me
Your
face, which my heart desires,
Your
eyes, Your cheeks, Your lips,
Which
I would kiss though it would burn
Me
to a withering nothing,
A
smoking remnant of Hope
And
infinite Love, my Lord, my King.
3.25.2012
FOURTH
DECAD
~
Hymn
31 (Isaiah 27)
I
hear myself found out.
I
find myself discovered,
A
beast in the depths,
Leviathan,
the crooked serpent,
Which
is myself,
My
offense to You,
I
see it before me and hear
The
wrath of Your judgment;
I
sit and read in this narrrow room
The
Word that finds me,
Here,
in the dark, a bent
And
curved abomination,
Unsightly
creature, O
Lord,
my Father, my Christ,
You
have reached me, even here,
Even
in this dark, sunless
Nothing,
this filthy
Chamber,
Your
Light has seen through the depths
And
the blackness of the waters;
You
have found me.
3.26.2012
~~
Hymn
32
But
to lift and cleanse me, Lord,
From
those atlantean depths
Where
I beheld
Creatures
the likes of which no
frame
could render:
Of
such enormity
And
filth, dull, black-eyed
demigods
of the deep;
Slow,
tortured shapes, filmed
And
phlegmed with their ancient
Hate;
those ghosts of cold
Submeridian
twilight,
Wandering
stars, golems,
Crookspined,
hunch-
Backed,
curved
Blasphemies,
horrors,
Sunken
in darkness,
Shriveled
with absence.
3.27.2012
~~
Hymn
33
Aum
3.30.2012
~~
Hymn
34
I
yearn and thirst, that right prevail,
Yet
I am crooked as the whale:
Leviathan,
that thorny beast,
Who
on a trillion glides to feast,
Has
sewn his seed upon my spine
To
make it like the fish that swerve
And
through the waters dart and curve
Rather
than swim a perfect line.
I
know what in my heart is good,
My
Lord: but love and brotherhood.
I
rid myself of Babel's lies;
Long
to be charitable and wise.
Come,
kill the flower of my desire.
I pray with whispers in the dark,
That You, my Lord, should see the mark,
That You, my Lord, should see the mark,
And
purify my soul in fire.
4.1.2012
~~
Hymn
35 (on Andrea Mantegna's 'Christ's Descent into
Limbo')
My
King descends to Limbo and I pray,
I
will not let Thee go.
And
should He leave me there, then I will stay,
And
He will go.
I
hold the bottom of His robe, my clasp
Is
hard and won't undo.
And
so into the darkness. Still I grasp
My
Lord, and go.
Down
to the deepest depths, I go along
And
will not let Him go.
And
though He leave me and my stay be long,
I
watch Him go.
4.3.2012
~~
Hymn
36
Let
come a time when men believe
Those
signals in the blood that leave,
As
evidence of their ignition,
The
resonance of intuition;
When
eyes, cast round at varied signs,
Espy
the truth in God's designs;
And
Love, writ on the flesh of hearts,
Discerns
the Whole despite its parts;
When
of the All, the One is found,
Conjoined
in an Eternal Ground,
Where
light is dark, where even's odd;
Where
Christ is Love, and Love is God.
4.3.2012
~~
Hymn
37
Were
I to hear You whisper in the garden,
I
would come close, and closer still, my Lord,
A
thing flat on its face (to
hear Your burden,
My
gentle King, my guardian and ward),
An
infinitesimal nothing, clay or clod
Blest
with the Breath of life; a subtle worm,
Or
mole, blind by the Light and Grace of God,
Creeping
upon its belly for a term
From
out the earth, a wet, reptilian growth
Compared to Thee; then slide in silence, steal
Closer
to You, my Lord, to touch the cloth
That
touched You, howsoever slight the veil
Between
us, Master; but to hear Your voice
Tender
consent; to listen, and rejoice.
4.6.2012
~~
Hymn
38
This
sunny Easter morning is as calm
as
any day or night that I remember.
The
April air goes riffling through a palm
I
planted way back then, in late November.
Some
twenty years ago I heard a psalm
in
Spanish, of a Zion to remember;
the
words were full of sorrow, but the calm
of
voices singing made the music tender.
The
desert spring is like an eastern summer;
the
winter here is mild: with sweating palms
go
boys and girls, even in deep December.
It's
easier on the ones who ask for alms
on
roadsides, who with crudely printed boards
and
backpacks hold fast to the hope that someday
some
soul will come and understand
the words
they
wrote with shaking hands on this bright Sunday.
4.8.2012
~~
Hymn
39
Let
there be none
Left
in the darkness and forsaken,
But
let God's Son
Enlighten
all, and all awaken.
Be
this my prayer:
My
Lord's sweet love to all be given;
Christ,
everywhere,
Indwell
in all, bring all to Heaven.
O
Father, hear
My
faint heart's hope, my soul's desire,
That
none will bear
The
sentence of eternal fire,
But
come to Thee,
Out
of all worldly devastation;
Thy
Son's death be
The
means to every soul's salvation. Amen.
4.16.2012
Hymn
40
Though
I am not forsaken,
I
cry into the bedsheet,
my
fists in waiting, wrenching,
like
virgin's fingers, tender
and
pink, with whitened knuckles.
I
wait through silent evening
and
wish a swift tomorrow
here
sobbing in the shadows
beneath
a twisted blanket
and
coverlet in passion,
not
bleak, like lover's sorrow,
but
cloyed with such rejoicing
that
breath is rich and ravished
and
all the flesh enraptured
and
tears fall on the pillow.
5.11.2012