Hymns; First Four Decads

FIRST DECAD

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Hymn 1

If I could give my love full rein,

That Thou, my Lord, might see it plain,

Then would my love were like a steed,

With milk-white mane, and strength and speed;

And would, my Lord, my love could fly

As swift as sunbeams in the sky,

Then it might leap, with flaming heart,

And light in Heaven, where Thou art.

2.28.2012

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Hymn 2

Thou hast my heart, my Lord,

    Now and forever;

Writ on my heart, Thy Word

    Will leave me never;

But guide, and mind the way

    Thro' dark of even,

To Thy eternal day,

    By Light of Heaven.

Thou hast my soul, my King,

    From its first dawn:

A small and tender thing,

    From darkness drawn

So gently, toward the Light

    Thy Father made;

Wrapt in a blanket white,

    In comfort laid.

Thou hast my thought, my Lord,

    My mind, in awe;

Transformed, and in accord

    With Thy just Law;

To be subservient

    Eternally;

Glad and obedient,

    To worship Thee.

Thou hast my flesh, my God,

    My body Thine;

Beholden to Thy rod,

    Thy rule divine;

Thou hast my all, my Lord,

    Free from Thee never;

So great Thy grace, Thy Word,

    Thy Love, forever.

3.2.2012

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Hymn 3

How would I balm Thy feet

    And salve Thy shoulders, Lord,

    That art the Living Word,

And King in Heaven's seat;

How would I free Thy hands

    And save Thee from all harm;

    But I have not Thine arm

Whose might all men commands;

For I am but the clay

    That God gave Life with Breath,

    As Thou took me from Death

And gave Eternity;

By taking on my Sin

    As tho' it all were Thine,

    And by such means Divine

Made my new Life begin.

Then shall I not forget

    Thy Blood on Calvary,

    Nor that I owe to Thee

An everlasting debt.

But O so dearly priced,

    The gift that Thou hast given,

    My Lord, Who art in Heaven,

My God, my King, my Christ.

3/3/2012

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Hymn 4

Oh let Thy kingdom come, sweet Lord,

The world to know Thy Love's increase

A thousand years of fruitful Peace,

The promise of Thy holy Word.

Make all men's hearts, sweet Lord, to turn

From selfish pride and vanity

To duty and humanity

And thus make way for Thy return.

3.4.2012

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Hymn 5

I live in fear of Thee, my Lord,

    By day I tremble in Thy Light,

In reverence of Thy Holy Word

    Upon my bed I weep by night;
From dawn till dusk, although in Faith,

    With sealed eyes and with bowing head,

I swear, my Lord, with every breath,

    That Thy stern judgment still I dread.

Washed in Thy Blood, my Lord, I pray

    That Thy sweet Mercy I might gain

When on that sudden, fateful Day

    Thou, as Thou promised, come again;

When kings will cower from Thy Face,

    When leaders of all nations fall

As one, beholden to Thy Grace,

    O King and Captor of us all.

Now then, my heart, tho' fraught with fear,

    A song of sweet compliance raise

To Him Who is forever near

    To Whom thou ow'st thy constant praise;

Whose Love is such that now thou art

    But willing prisoner, blushing bride;

O happy slave, O now, my heart,

    Surrender; and Thou, Lord, preside.

3.4.2012

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Hymn 6

I love Thee, Lord; I know not if

    Thou lovest me;

My Love for Thee is all my life,

    By night, by day.

I cannot eat, sweet morsels cloyeth

    My arid mouth;

All drink is bitter, water annoyeth;

    My tongue is drouth.

Then if I sing the words are dust,

    The winds will scatter;

An Thou shant hear, yet sing I must,

    Albeit the matter

Be wasted on the air, the sense

    By none received;

But lost is better than by men's

    Ears unbelieved.

And so I love Thee, Lord, and still

    Though it be vain,

It is of no event, I will

    But love again.

I love Thee, Lord, though I be wife

    in Groom's despite;

My Love for Thee is all my life,

    By day, by night.

3/6/2012

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Hymn 7 (On the Incomprehensible Feminine; a Marian Hymn)

Think that Our God, the Father, and His Son,

    Seek comfort and a time of rest;

And think that ere Creation had begun

    That there was Mother Mary's breast.

O sweet Celestial Mother, if it be

    At all permissible to dwell

On what to Man is solemn Mystery,

    Then wilt Thou let my fancy tell

        What wonders it should find,

        E'n but contained to Mind,

Were it but granted such unbounded Liberty?

At once my eyes are blind; and in my Soul

    I travel in the darkness, far;

Methinks that I am captain, and control

    My faring, by my Faith's bright star;

But all is gloomy overhead, the sky lit

    By constellations faintly glowing

Thro' canopies of cloud. O Lord, my Pilot,

    Thou hast the wheel of my Unknowing,

        And bringest me, with speed,

        To wheresoe'er I need,

Be it my bed, or sunny isle; or day or night; or twilit.

3.6.2012

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Hymn 8

Lord, should some morsel now alight

    Upon my tongue, to give me pleasure,

Some whipt confection sweet and light,

        In perfect measure;

I would but spit that trifle out,

    As it were surely something bitter;

For I had tasted of Love's drought

        And found it sweeter.

Though I were in a desert parched

    With but an empty cup in hand

And found, however I had searched

        No drink but sand;

Still would I deem myself as blest

    To be so happily accurst,

That Love of Thee, that burnt my breast,

        Had quenched my thirst.

3.7.2012

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Hymn 9 (On Herbert's sonnet, The Holy Scriptures 2)

I find that in Thy Word I am betrayed:

Though this page miss or that,

The third will find me, as Thy poet said

In that last read magnificat.

Thumb as I will, at random here and there,

Like some low criminal in the dark,

Yet Thou wilt find me, when most unaware,

With an alarum I must mark.

3.7.2012

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Hymn 10

God separated dark from light,

    And by that first decision

He made a world of wrong and right,

    And every known division:

The male and female; yea and no;

    On, off; and plus and minus;

And by these balances to show

    His order and align us.

The night shall always follow day,

    And dawn shall follow even;

Which show'th there is a single way

    And manner unto Heaven;

By day the circuit of the sun

    Is such, not what she chooseth;

As every star shall likewise run

    And none her way she loseth.

Tho' man from ancient time hath made

    His learned remonstration,

It is but silence, and a shade

    Of God's sublime Creation;

Thy words are shadows, darkling speak

    Philosophy and science;

Man, God is strong, and thou art weak;

    On Him have thy reliance.

3.9.2012

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SECOND DECAD

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Hymn 11 (a sonnet of praise)

I look upon the ebon fields of night,

Bright-lit with stars, with massive constellations;

With galaxies that dance in Thy first Light

In blackest space, all mindful of their stations;

I cannot see the nearest, meanest stone

That sails in silence round its ancient track;

But only Thy Light, and that Light alone

That guideth through Time's ocean, cold and black.

Which Light, O Lord, fortified with Thy Word,

That came to earth as man, Thine only Son,

Who, gentle as a Lamb, wast sacrificed

That man should gain Thy mercy and be heard

On that last day when Thy Will shall be done;

Thy Will, my Lord; my King, my God, my Christ.

3.10.2012

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Hymn 12

When Thou hast come again, my Lord,

        The seas will swell and roll

        And every man his soul

Shall tremble, and consult Thy Word.

When Thou hast come again, My God,

        The earth will shift, and shake,

        And continents will break,

Beaten to rubble with Thy rod.

When Thou hast come again, My King,

        The skies will run with red

        For Blood that Thou hast shed,

That man be spared Death's bitter sting.

When Thou hast come again, my Christ,

        Spring shall be born again,

        Likewise the soul of man,

For whom, Lord, Thou hast sacrificed.

3.10.2012

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Hymn 13

Now let my soul with readiness be dressed,

Much like a maiden, robed in purest white;

I wait with patience, in this still midnight,

For One Whose Holy Will shalt manifest;

For Him Who cleansed my soul; at Whose behest

The corridors of space were frilled with Light;

For Whom the winds blow; and to Whose great might

All men will kneel: north, south; and east, and west.

There will be none in hiding from His eyes,

None in the wildered jungle, or lone isle;

None on the snowy peaks, or deserts wide;

None in the deep, black bellies of the seas.

He shall see all, and find, and bring to trial.

Yet trust Him still; for thine own sake He died.

3.10.2012

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Hymn 14

Now, like a slave in bands of iron bound

        At neck and feet,

I have, My Lord, despite my struggle, found

        This bondage sweet.

I cannot fly, to ring that steeple's bell,

        Nor spin that vane,

Nor like the wind go make the ocean swell,

        Or summon rain;

Yet can I turn, and find Thee there, my King.

        With opened eyes

I see Thy work: Now comes the infant Spring,

        With azure skies

And birds whose wings make chevrons in the blue,

        And fruitful hours

Of longer days with gentler air to strew

        The scents of flowers.

Thou art a goodly Bondsman, Christ, my Lord.

        I know not why

I ought look elsewhere for my keep and ward.

        This Liberty

I hear men speak of is a thing of favor,

        Yet in excess,
Like salt, is cloying and bereft of savor,

        And gives distress.

O stay, My King, and never yield Thy rule,

        Be Master when

The constellations dim, and suns go cool,

        Then burn again;

From Thy sweet yoke, my Captor, I desire

        No false relief,

But constant watch; what term I have, be dire;

        What freedom, brief.

3.11.2012

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Hymn 15

I lay but could not sleep, but toss
 and turn; and when
I thought I slept, it seemed I was
 awake again.
For dreams of You would come and go.
I saw Your face, My Lord, but no—
it was a ghost, a glimpse, and so
 I lost it then.

I heard such crying in the dark,
 as still I lay:
a cricket's chirp, a canid's bark,
 each had its say;
but none of them disturbed my rest
more than this threshing in my breast,
each time that glance that I love best
 was turned away.

O stay, my Lord, and let me glean
 one gold-shot ray
from Your own eye, that long has seen
 the stars at play.
For but one beam—a second's shine,
a scattered dream! — if it were mine,
I'd think each sleepless night divine,
 All darkness, day.

 - revised May, 2015

3.11.2012

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Hymn 16

If not for Him, there are

        No joys,  

Just diffident despair 

        That cloys

To waylay happiness

        And love,

And from life's easiness

        Remove

The soul, to set apart,

        Unbind

The marriage of the heart

        And mind.

Therfore I go in peace

        Toward

Him. Christ's my Shepherd. He's

        My Lord.

3.12.2012

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Hymn 17

The day is dressed in sunset gold,

And all the wind seems now at bay;

The lambs are gathered in the fold;

The wolves are driven far away.

All is at peace, and tranquilly

The Shepherd sits and takes His rest;

I know He watches over me

While light fades slowly in the west.

3.12.2012

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Hymn 18 (On verse making and Liberty)

I like the narrow space

    my little feet can tread;

I send them out apace

    And count them in my head;

There's two, and three, and four,

    They patter in their rows;

I might send out a score,

    Or legions, if I chose.

When I my Fancy study,

    I find much Liberty;

It moves more than my body,

    And even dares to fly.

It swims the widest ocean,

    And in the heavens soars,

Unhindered in its motion,

    And varied in its course.

Is it a just complaint

    When someone is divested

Of freedom by constraint,

    Or by brute force arrested?

Look to the matter rightly,

    Let men trust each their word;

Take not one issue lightly

    And let the least be heard.

Then thou wilt see there's justice

    When reason is well-grounded

In One in Whom all trust is,

    Who cannot be confounded;

Let son look up to father,

    And all men in accord

Exalt the Single Author

    Who lived in Christ, our Lord.

3.13.2012

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Hymn 19

It matters not how small the gift,

So long as Charity is given;

For were that lacking, then there's thrift

In alms, and it comes not from Heaven;

Seek not thy purse, for in thy heart

The Lord hath sown a rich affection,

The fruit thereof the tender part

Of either side of the collection.

3.14.2012

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Hymn 20

That I am clay and figured by

        Thy Hand, my Lord,

Is all I have of certainty:

        Thy Living Word

Inscribed with perfect clarity

        And loving art;

Thy Signature is plain to me,

        Upon my heart.

That I do know of nothing more,

        My Lord, is given,

Save that my Master I adore,

        And long for Heaven:

To be perpetually reminded

        Of Thy Glory.

To see my Savior and be blinded

        Be my story.

3.15.2012

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THIRD DECAD

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Hymn 21 (To a Celebrity)

Mayflower, Flower

Of May, set sail

Again, that power

Of God prevail.

William & Mary

Will come again,

& marry; make merry

The hearts of men.

Mayflower, father

And mother, come;

And bring fair weather

And wisdom home.

*

The laugher & singer

I see, ahoy!

Thou good ship, bringer

Of Life & Joy.

3.16.2012

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Hymn 22 (On the Pauline Gospel)

So glad I listen, Lord,

and hear Thy perfect Word,

Clear as the trills of flutes

Unlike the grunts of brutes,

But as a polished horn

As mellow as the morn;

Mindful of reprimands:

To mark the work of hands,

And know their proper place

In terms of use and praise.

Mine ears are opened wide

And gratefully abide

The whisperings of wit,

And bursts of Holy Writ

That sound out clarion calls

In the spirit's baffled halls,

And sonorously awaken

All souls, from slumber shaken.

3.18.2012

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Hymn 23

    In subtle form the hemispheres

Of east and west, and north and south, conjoin

    To mark that which to us appears

The perfect round in our conception:

    That which subsumes and constitutes

All beings, and the space wherein they live;

    The common ground of men and brutes,

And living things that in that context thrive.

    Which gives us cause to cast an eye

On things of form and shapeliness possessed:

    The human figure's symmetry,

A woman's face and eyes, her smile, her breast;

    A ripened fruit: a purple plum,

Or sweet, cleft peach frilled with a drop of rain

    That glisters coolly; or the bloom

Of plump white grapes that mellow into wine.

    Though it were better we should look

At evening's splendor where, if skies are clear,

    The Lord hath opened up His book

For all: the vast, celestial chandelier

    Of moon and sun and galaxies;

His order and His majesty divine.

    The place where lieth Eternal peace

And where His mercy and His glory shine.

3.19.2012

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Hymn 24

Tho' devils tread

Around my bed

I will not fear

That they be near;

Tho' demons taunt

They shall avaunt

From nigh my soul

And naught control,

For I have Christ,

Who sacrificed

His Blood for me

And set me free

Of carnal chains

And worldly gains,

That I might rest

In His sweet breast.  Amen.

3.20.2012

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Hymn 25

The ghostly visions of the dark

      Will not deride me,

Nor ghastly creatures that I mark

      As if beside me;

        For I have heard

        The Gospel's Word,

And therein I confide me.

No thing from Hell shall turn my heart

      With sumptuous vision,

Though it be fair and make me start

      By sly derision;

        For I the Lord

        Cry on, my ward,

Whose Blood hath saved me from perdition.

When evil whispereth in the night,

      My soul alarming,

Telling of bodily delight

      In manner charming,

        I shall not move

        Suchwise to prove

The flesh's habit of disarming,

But steadfast hope on Thee, my Lord,

      With full attention;

My heart and mind in full accord

      To Thy intention.

        Let spirits unnamed

        Be gone, ashamed,

And scarcely worth a moment's mention.

3.20.2012

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Hymn 26 (The greatest fear)

I find I cannot look but see Thee, Lord.

    No matter where I choose to turn

The vivid pattern of thy Living Word

    In sign and signature is borne:

Sublime geometry, arithmetic

    Of number and relation; there

And here, it's written, large or small, or thick

    Or thin; it's graven everywhere.

But not in any place more clearly seen

    Than in my heart; Thy Word

Hath no more clarity, nor brighter sheen

    Than when it's in my conscience heard.

There Thou hast stamped Thy just, eternal Law,

    That I may not misunderstand

Nor have removed, tho' buffed by timorous awe

    And fear of Thy Almighty Hand.

3.21.2012

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Hymn 27

Only a moment past we spoke.

    You whispered in my ear;

My eyes upon an open book:

        I saw You there.

Moment to moment I am bound,

    By iron bands, from here

To there, I tremble in Your hand,

        Your prisoner.

Will You release me? Pray You, never,

    I'd rather die, my Lord,

A thousand times times ten forever,

        By cross or sword.

I cried for missing You today.

    You saw my tears and heard

My melancholy melt away,

        My Christ, my Lord.

3.22.2012

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Hymn 28

        I will not let You go;

Not though I die a thousand times

        A million, You will know

        I will not let You go.

        I will forget You never;

Beyond the ending of the ten

        Thousand and tenth forever,

        I will forget You never.

        Forever, I surrender

My life, my waking will, My King;

        My all to You I tender;

        Forever I surrender.

3.23.2012

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Hymn 29

I will prepare my heart with all that's good,

    And sweep it though it were a room,

And make it fitting for the Grace of God,

    Wherein the bride awaits her Groom.

I look in corners for what mites of dust

    Are gathered there, and pluck them up;

Observe the balance of the love and trust

    That God has poured in my heart's cup.

Straighten, my gracious Lord, the crooked cracks

    Graven therein by lust and pride,

And make that perfect where my work most lacks,

    That You may come in and preside.

3.23.2012

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Hymn 30

In my dreams I go looking for You,

Upstairs and down, through vacant rooms

Where there is only loss and absence,

A curtain billows, like the back of your raiment

Riffling with the effluence of Limbo

As You descended, Your halo like a helmet,

Into the darkness. I would creep after You,

But I cannot, nor can You turn to show me

Your face, which my heart desires,

Your eyes, Your cheeks, Your lips,

Which I would kiss though it would burn

Me to a withering nothing,

A smoking remnant of Hope

And infinite Love, my Lord, my King.

3.25.2012

FOURTH DECAD

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Hymn 31 (Isaiah 27)

I hear myself found out.

I find myself discovered,

A beast in the depths,

Leviathan, the crooked serpent,

Which is myself,

My offense to You,

I see it before me and hear

The wrath of Your judgment;

I sit and read in this narrrow room

The Word that finds me,

Here, in the dark, a bent

And curved abomination,

Unsightly creature, O

Lord, my Father, my Christ,

You have reached me, even here,

Even in this dark, sunless

Nothing, this filthy

Chamber,

Your Light has seen through the depths

And the blackness of the waters;

You have found me.

3.26.2012

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Hymn 32

But to lift and cleanse me, Lord,

From those atlantean depths

Where I beheld

Creatures the likes of which no

frame could render:

Of such enormity

And filth, dull, black-eyed

demigods of the deep;

Slow, tortured shapes, filmed

And phlegmed with their ancient

Hate; those ghosts of cold

Submeridian twilight,

Wandering stars, golems,

Crookspined, hunch-

Backed, curved

Blasphemies, horrors,

Sunken in darkness,

Shriveled with absence.

3.27.2012

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Hymn 33

Aum

3.30.2012

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Hymn 34

I yearn and thirst, that right prevail,

Yet I am crooked as the whale:

Leviathan, that thorny beast,

Who on a trillion glides to feast,

Has sewn his seed upon my spine

    To make it like the fish that swerve

    And through the waters dart and curve

Rather than swim a perfect line.

I know what in my heart is good,

My Lord: but love and brotherhood.

I rid myself of Babel's lies;

Long to be charitable and wise.

Come, kill the flower of my desire.

    I pray with whispers in the dark,
    That You, my Lord, should see the mark,

And purify my soul in fire.

4.1.2012

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Hymn 35 (on Andrea Mantegna's 'Christ's Descent into Limbo')

My King descends to Limbo and I pray,

      I will not let Thee go.

And should He leave me there, then I will stay,

        And He will go.

I hold the bottom of His robe, my clasp

      Is hard and won't undo.

And so into the darkness. Still I grasp

        My Lord, and go.

Down to the deepest depths, I go along

      And will not let Him go.

And though He leave me and my stay be long,

        I watch Him go.

4.3.2012

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Hymn 36

Let come a time when men believe

Those signals in the blood that leave,

As evidence of their ignition,

The resonance of intuition;

When eyes, cast round at varied signs,

Espy the truth in God's designs;

And Love, writ on the flesh of hearts,

Discerns the Whole despite its parts;

When of the All, the One is found,

Conjoined in an Eternal Ground,

Where light is dark, where even's odd;

Where Christ is Love, and Love is God.

4.3.2012

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Hymn 37

Were I to hear You whisper in the garden,

I would come close, and closer still, my Lord,

A thing flat on its face (to hear Your burden,

My gentle King, my guardian and ward),

An infinitesimal nothing, clay or clod

Blest with the Breath of life; a subtle worm,

Or mole, blind by the Light and Grace of God,

Creeping upon its belly for a term

From out the earth, a wet, reptilian growth

Compared to Thee; then slide in silence, steal

Closer to You, my Lord, to touch the cloth

That touched You, howsoever slight the veil

Between us, Master; but to hear Your voice

Tender consent; to listen, and rejoice.

4.6.2012

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Hymn 38

This sunny Easter morning is as calm

as any day or night that I remember.

The April air goes riffling through a palm

I planted way back then, in late November.

Some twenty years ago I heard a psalm

in Spanish, of a Zion to remember;

the words were full of sorrow, but the calm

of voices singing made the music tender.

The desert spring is like an eastern summer;

the winter here is mild: with sweating palms

go boys and girls, even in deep December.

It's easier on the ones who ask for alms

on roadsides, who with crudely printed boards

and backpacks hold fast to the hope that someday

some soul will come and understand the words

they wrote with shaking hands on this bright Sunday.

4.8.2012

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Hymn 39

        Let there be none

Left in the darkness and forsaken,

        But let God's Son

Enlighten all, and all awaken.

        Be this my prayer:

My Lord's sweet love to all be given;

        Christ, everywhere,

Indwell in all, bring all to Heaven.

        O Father, hear

My faint heart's hope, my soul's desire,

        That none will bear

The sentence of eternal fire,

        But come to Thee,

Out of all worldly devastation;

        Thy Son's death be

The means to every soul's salvation. Amen.

4.16.2012

Hymn 40

Though I am not forsaken,

I cry into the bedsheet,

my fists in waiting, wrenching,

like virgin's fingers, tender

and pink, with whitened knuckles.

I wait through silent evening

and wish a swift tomorrow

here sobbing in the shadows

beneath a twisted blanket

and coverlet in passion,

not bleak, like lover's sorrow,

but cloyed with such rejoicing

that breath is rich and ravished

and all the flesh enraptured

and tears fall on the pillow.

5.11.2012